Problems of being a brown girl
Jul 24
Grades: I often hear desis brag about their intelligence in front of their white counterparts. But the secret is that us desis don’t really have a choice. When you know that anything less than a 95 means your ass will spend some one on one time with your dad’s boot, you automatically study like a maniac, We have to study to survive. “B” is completely unacceptable, and could lead to confiscation of all your beloved possessions. So whenever you see a desi cramming in the library please shut the fuck up. The poor kid is just trying to live another day without getting his intestines eaten by his demanding family. If Einstein was desi, he would have got his ass beat for not being smart enough.
Aunties: Desi aunties spread their venom with unbelievable efficiency. They will jump onto any marginal mistake you make, and do everything in their power to make your life miserable. Have a bf? Weigh slightly more/less than they think you should? Low grades? Average cooking skills? Doesn’t matter what it is. They will exploit your flaw so much that your mom start regretting her decision to not swallow you.
The talented cousin: Grass is always greener on the other side. You learn this at a very young age in desi families as your parents start to comparing you to your cousins. All your qualities and achievements will always get overshadowed by an evil cousin. This cousin doesn’t have to be more talented than you. Oh No. Parents will find or even make up something which gives them an edge over you. Growing up, I had a cousin who ran her mouth all day. I, on the other hand, used a limited quantity of words and preserved my energy for things more important like umm education.
Here’s how we matched up :-
Better grades? Check.
More athletic than her? CHECK.
More popular in school? CHECK.
Talk as much as her? ERROR.
And only I know how much bitching I had to deal with on a daily basis for my “unsocial” behaviour.
Round Roti issue: Desis love their food. You can tell by looking at the sheer quantity of over weight aunties and uncles. They jump onto food like they haven’t eaten in decades. Therefore, cooking plays a critical role in winning over your in-laws after marriage. If you can’t cook, they will bug you, and your family for not raising their daughter right. Our parents know this, and do their best to avoid this circumstance. As a consequence, girls spend a lot of their precious time in the kitchen (which could have otherwise spent of important things like twitter/ fb). Making rotis is easy, but making perfectly round rotis that don’t like a map of Canada could prove to be a daunting task. Keep trying, and training, until you master this. I am 21, and still sometimes produce results that could potentially bring shame to my family down the road. But I couldn’t care less.
Dating: Dating is a big no-no in most brown families. And by most I mean 99.9% of them. Brown parents don’t like their kids mingling with the opposite sex. Maintaining your sexual tool in brand new condition, and staying focused on your academic goals is THE MOST IMPORTANT thing in your life. Now up until this point, the blog post has been very general. I have talked about stuff that most brown girls can relate to. However, the consequence of getting caught with a boy depends on the freak in your parent’s head, and your history with boys. It could range anywhere from “them not giving a fuck” to “your dead body in the news next morning”
I am Kudi Punjaban and these are a few of the many problems desi girls have to deal with.
Story of my life. Period
Looks like only Sandeep’s replying !
Very nicely depicted. Way to go kudiye. Remember I told you long back that i see another J.K.Rowling in making.
Thanks for the kind words
lol JK Rowling? That’s a little too much dont u think
PS: Good to see you back. Where have u been? Missed ya.
Mark my words ! U are gonna make it very big some day. Baaki bas busy life with kids, not much time to be net nowadays.
LOL No i wont cuz i am not trying to do. I just blog for fun when I feel like that’s all.
Oh nice, Good to spend some time with ur family.
I thought you were on a cruise or something.
Us ‘brown’ guys are also subjected to pretty similar stuff – though at a lower intensity (Except for the food thing)
Sigh. Sorry state of affairs. Let’s not be as cruel to the next generation – we’re a lost case.
True. When we become parents it’s important to not forget what impact these things had on our childhood.
Good write up. But some or should say , most is applicable to both guys and gals, trust me.
Will be adding your blog to my reader , keep writing and do check my blog some time as well.
Aman….
Thank you.
I will check out your blog for sure. 
Excellent
. Don’t forget to leave without a comment 
.
Aman….
Whoa! So the Desi’s are still the same Desi’s. Grew up in TO back in late 80′s and early 90′s and it was the same stuff I went thru. *Sigh*
Yep. Some things never change.
This is a problem of being brown anywhere, even in India
Its in the core of the Indian psyche and largely stems from your parents having fought every penny for you. They don’t want you to undergo that fight. Its difficult to understand till you have children 
Some of you might lash out at me for this 
I get your point. Our parents push us so hard in school, and at home because they want us to do well in life. But it does get very annoying for children, and as a consequence a gap develops between the two generations. Desi parents need to be a bit more understanding of what psychological impact their behavior has on their kids. For example, the “Cousin-comparison” thing can hurt the kid’s self-belief and as a result they might never be able to flourish to their full potential.
I totally agree with you. I hated my parents for the time they pushed me but now that I have a 5 year old, I am a little more understanding. However, a lot of what they do is unforgiving. Like the comparing part. Yesterday, I went to my daughter’s kindergarten open house and they specifically told us “not to compare”. I hope someday we learn to forgive their misgivings and embrace them for what they are.
And someday teach them to accept us the way we are!